I propose that we can help our “adulting challenged” young people — individually and collectively — by using language that would mitigate the embarrassment and shame that can accompany a young person’s difficulties. If we do that, we can encourage them to attend to their problems directly, and find their way more quickly and effectively, by engaging with people who might be helpful to them. And we will ease their emotional pain as well.
My objective in this content is to call attention to this problem with negative language and introduce the expression “lost in place” with the recommending that we adopt it broadly as more compassionate and constructive language that can help us to young people to find their way.
Cinderella (now Cindy) packed her things and moved out of the castle the very next day, with a brisk but polite goodbye to the stepmother and stepsisters who were caught quite off guard, and were bewildered, but they couldn’t stop her. Mostly they just wanted to know who would sweep their cinders. Not Cindy’s problem. She moved out and never looked back.
ADHD can become an unwelcome but convenient red herring that hides or excuses underlying adulting problems that should be addressed.
Many young people of this generation operate with an ever-shifting set of fragmented, muddled, and often misleading identity elements. This identity stew makes it hard for them to live with confidence or resilience.
“The Coddling of the American Mind” unpacks how / why it is that SO MANY young people coming of age in the last 20 years lack confidence and self-reliance, are disinclined to engage with things that challenge them, and are afraid to claim their own adulthood.
Many young people today are uncomfortable with eyeball-to-eyeball, adult-to-adult conversations that last more than 5 minutes.
With just a bit of facilitation they can identify their own comfort zones and consider if / how those are holding them back.
We can help people in this “wandering” and “pessimistic” generation by stirring their thinking around how they might figure out and get to work on their purpose in life.
When we know a younger adult who is feeling stalled in their life, let’s encourage them to have some ambition in how they use those open hours. Constructive activities, done in a structured way, can help build the foundations and fortitude they need to sort out their career and well-rounded adult life. And those activities may lead to new ideas and opportunities to get out of that rut.
People ask if my coaching approach is comparable to therapy. My response is — for sure not. I am super respectful of therapists and therapy practices. But I am happy to compare and contrast between my coaching approach and the work of a licensed therapist.